Garbage Picker

A view from my vantage point---ok, not really.

Today I spent nearly an hour cleaning up after my neighbor's kids.  This was completely unintentional and I hate myself for doing it.  As I waited in my grass for my dog to do his business, I happened to glance at the landscaping at the front entrance of the building.  Horrifying.  It seriously looked like a plastic manufacturing plant exploded.  Angrily I scooped up my dog's shit and went to inspect the piles of rubbish further. 

Here is what I picked up from the landscaping rocks (not including the half-ton of landscaping rocks that I had picked up off of the sidewalk and put back into the bed):

*Note: None of these numbers are exhaggerated.

12 plastic water bottles of various brands

9 plastic water bottle caps
4 Coke cans 
6 plastic wrappers from freeze-pops
2 lids Snack Pack pudding lids
1 plastic fairy wand (broken in two pieces)
1 plastic toy sword (crumpled)

I was even more angry because I had to make three trips to collect this bullshit and walk it around to where our recycling bins are; all while my crackhead dog was trying to attack the dead leaves that are starting to pop up. 

Here's where shit gets real: I know the logical response to seeing all this crap would have been to NOT clean it up.  It wasn't my kid's mess.  But please be advised: if I didn't clean this shit up, it would still be there NEXT year.  And probably the year after that.  Actually, they'd still be there in 450-1000 years still trying to decompose.  These kids NEVER pick up after themselves.  And the parents would NEVER clean it up either.  Not too long ago, the kids were partying it up in the hallway (see: riding their tricycles down the stairs) and had left all kinds of food (see: cheese slices and Reese's) in the hall and in a pregnant-hormonal rage I went all ape shit on them telling them they can't be leaving food out in the hallways.  Yeah, I'm THAT neighbor...you know, the one that yells at other people's kids.  I'm fine with it.  It stopped for about two weeks until the did it again, only this time they had popcorn EVERYWHERE in the hall.  I took hubby's loud ass shop-vac out there at 7:00am and cleaned that shit up.  Take that, Mr./Mrs. We-Sleep-'Til-Noon.  They stopped playing in the halls, only they took their tomfoolery outside...but obviously decided the mess would stay out there too.  I know I am going to have to say something to them, but I would really like to do it in front of the parents so that they know (even though I don't think it wouldn't make a shit-ounce of a difference).  Part of me wonders if I should "pick my battles" and assume that it will be getting cooler outside and they won't be out as much, but out of common courtesy (which let's get real, does NOT exist anymore), I feel they should be held responsible for messes in the common areas.  If you don't pick up after yourself in YOUR home, fine.  But don't make the entire building reflect your messy ass.  Shit.

Now I'm tired.  In retrospect, these are the SAME people who have BAGS and BAGS of Coke cans in the garage ready to cash them in for fabulous prizes.  $1.86